Human Evolution

For those that don't know about history. Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food is standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your position.

How well do you know your husband??

Here's a chance to see how well you really know your husband. Cut, paste and fill in the answers . . . shoot, you know what to do. The real challenge is to send it to your husband to see how right you really are.


1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
probably a game of some sort

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ceasar - cuz he always gets a chicken ceasar salad

3. What's one food he doesn't like? peas

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? water or a beer.

5. Where did he go to high school? Conway High

6. What size shoe does he wear? 12 1/2 to 13 depends on the brand

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? quarters, and tools lol

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Ham and cheese

9. What would this person eat every day if he could? pizza or good lasagna

10. What is his favorite cereal? umm, i don't think he's a big fan of cereal - unless it's kix

11. What would he never wear? breifs

12. What is his favorite sports team? LSU or UT Austin

13. Who did he vote for? McCain - cuz that's how we roll

14. Who is his best friend? Robert

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? get whiney

16. Did he play sports in high school? Nope, he was in the band

17. What could he spend hours doing? playing nintendo!

18. What is one unique talent he has? constantly curling his toes under his feet lol

My birthday... a definite MUST READ

So today, July 10, 2009 is my 26th birthday.

This is what was in my email box at midnight last night:

"Dear Mrs. Hinz

As a member of Hinzcorp, it is my pleasure to congratulate you on your 26th birthday. And what would be more rewarding than a token of gratitude offered by Hinzcorp? Why, your very own birthday present, that's what!

So here is what we are going to do: hidden somewhere in your house is a present just for you. To help lead you to it, we are going to send you various hints via email to lead you to it. You will have exactly 5 days to claim your reward, or else it will be forfeited. Just kidding.

Since today is the 10th, that gives you until the 15th to figure out where your special something is stashed inside your luxurious home. If you cannot find your gift within the allotted time period, it will be removed from its hiding place and given to you with much chiding.

Here is your first hint:
It is located in a corner.

Finally, guessing your present does not mean that you get a free pass to its location early. You must FIND it!!!

Thank you for your loving support of Hinzcorp, and we look forward to hearing of your success.

Sincerely,
H. Thomas Hinz
Co-CEO Hinzcorp"

I absolutely love my husband. He is AWESOME!!!

<3 Jessica

4 Fun Things About Me!

Fun things about me


Here is a fun and quick way to stay in touch. Let's see
how many people do this too




1) 4 places I go over and over:

My parents' house, Kandi's house, walmart, work



2) 4 people who e-mail me regularly:

Marti, Tom, Sue (from Australia), Angelle (from Slidell, LA).



3) 4 of my favorite places to eat:

Casa Mexicana, Red Lobster, Chili's, and my kitchen when Tom is cooking!!



4) 4 places I would rather be right now:

Germany, in the middle of the woods, in bed, Vermont



5) 4 people I think will respond:

EEK!!! I don't know!! Maybe Crystal (my cousin), Jessica (a couple of them possibly), my kid brother, and... ... uhhh... I don't know! Maybe Cassandra?



6) 4 TV shows I watch:

Heroes, Chuck, NCIS, and House

Red, White, and Blue!!

Happy 4th of July Everyone!! PS. I took that picture at the top! With my camera... and mad skillz lol!! Anyway,

Day 1 of our 3 day holiday weekend was climbing Pinnacle Mountain, and going swimming.

Day 2 has been all about relaxing! Tom and I started the day by getting up and playing on our computers. Then, around 2 o'clock. Robert and Monica came to the house so that they could follow us to my parents' house to do fireworks. We shot off probably $250 worth of fireworks... I think Tom and I spent about $75. Part of which was one a kick ass "Finale" piece.

(l>r) Monica, Tom, and Robert, lighting sparklers for Lisa to play with.

My mom and dad, a really cute pic of my mom, too bad Dad's eyes are closed... lol

Brett, getting to light fireworks for the first time this year!!

Anyway, it's been a great weekend so far, and we still have ANOTHER day. It's GREAT.

Tomorrow, Sunday, we have Brett's birthday party. He turned 13 years old on July 1st! I can't believe how quickly all "my kids" are growing up!! It's crazy.


Anyway, Happy 4th of July!! Thank you to all our troops at home and abroad. You keep us free, and for that, there is not enough "Thanks" on the planet.

<3 Jessica

P.S. I took that last photo too with my camera!!

On top of Ol' Pinnacle! All Covered in trees!

Ok, so you get a day off from work. A PAID HOLIDAY. What do you do?
Tottle around the house?
Maybe go shopping?
Me?
I go climb a big ass mountain. haha!

Pinnacle Mountain State Park
West Summit Trail'

Length: 1 1/2 miles round trip
Time: 1 1/2 hours (took us the better part of 3, because I kept stopping because I was EXHAUSTED!!)
Difficulty: Strenuous (no one ever pointed out to me that this was STRENUOUS!)

Description: This rocky trail begins at the park picnic grounds and winds its way to the top of Pinnacle Mountain. From the top is a spectacular view of Lake Maumelle, the Arkansas River Valley, the Ouachita Mountains and west Little Rock. This is truly a breathtaking view. To return, you must retrace your steps or hike down the rugged East Summit Trail and return via the base trail for a total hike of 2 1/2 miles."

-Yeah, ok, so first of all, I haven't hiked this mountain since I was probaly 13 or 14... ok, so a good 12 or 13 YEARS. Plus, Tom and I noticed that a lot of the kids going up and down the mountain didn't seem to FEEL PAIN...

How are they breeding these little demons??

Anyway, in August of 2007, Tom and I had intentions of climbing this mountain, but I was only able to do about 3/10ths of the way up, because it was so hard on my legs... Well, I got this idea, since we're 65 pounds lighter than we were last summer, and we've been walking 3 1/2 miles twice a week, SURELY I could handle a silly little mountain...

oooooooooooooooooooooooooh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Don't tease the mountain, it's a bitch.

But, Tom was very patient with me, and was so great. He pushed me, but not to the point of pissing me off. He kept telling me "Make a small goal, reach it, and make a new goal" or "Take as long as you need, sweetie, we're making it to the top!" He's so great.

I made it though!!

It took us the better part of 2 hours to go up the mountain, then we loafed around for about 20 or 30 minutes at the top, taking pictures and resting. Then it took us a little less than an hour to get back down... WHEW.

I tell you this much, that mountain honestly felt like I had just done the stair stepper machine for 3 hours... it was crazy. My calf muscles burned, my thighs burned, my back hurt... It was seriously the most rewarding 3 hours I've had in a long time. It was totally worth the hike, once we got to the top, and I couldn't have done it without my wonderful husband, Tom.

I love you, baby!

4th of July Weekend Break down!

Hey guys! Here is my break down for the weekend:

Friday (today): Gunna go climb Pinnacle Mountain! Super excited! Then possibly some swimming.

Saturday (tomorrow): Robert and Monica and their two kids are coming with us to mom and dad's for swimming, grilling, and fireworks!!

Sunday: Brett's 13th birthday party at Playtime Pizza!!

Should have some awesome photos!!

Can't wait!

Love you all!!

<3 Jess